PC Hires Debt Consultants to Combat Debt Resulting from Hiring of Debt Consultants

By Wiley Scaggs

In a what can only be described as a proactive move, PC officially hired 6 consultants yesterday to help fight the subsequent debt which would be accumulated as a result of their hiring. What has been hailed as a "preventative measure to bite a problem in the butt before it spirals out of control," the school hopes that the 6 new employees will be able to offer a solution to the unfortunate predicament they effectively created.

"Give PC a lot of credit for taking steps to aleviate what wouldn't have been a problem had they not taken those step," remarked one consultants. "Not only does it show good instinct, but it also shows an ability to make the tough decision."

The PC administration knew that, considering the current state of the economy, any deviation from their 2009-2010 allocated spending budget would result in immediate and crippling financial hardships. To prevent this from having detremental effects on the function and livlihood of the school, the amninistration went out and hired 6 professional debt consultants from the Jacob and Reilly Corporation in Illinois to help pull them them out of a debt which was estimated to equal the salaries of around 6 professional dect conditions from the Jacob and Reilly Corporation in Illinois.

"We knew we had no wiggle room in our budget," said PC President De-Gustibus, "so we essentially immunized ourselves with a vaccine for a disease we got only as a result of our immunization. It's all very political, but we felt it was the best approach to such a delicate situation."

The 6 debt consultants plan on surveying the entire campus to determine where to cut costs and which positions are expendible. The process was initially estimated take a few months to complete, although, since the consultants are on a monthly salary base, they now predict a constant montly accumulation of debt for as long as they are on the job.

"Its looking as if we are going to have to aleviate the same amount of debt each month for the tenure of our employment," said one consultant. "Which should be as long as it takes to stop the monthly debt from accumulating."

"It really is a win-win situation for everyone," said De-Gustibus. "We'll except for those who lose there jobs in order to make room in the budget for the consultants to cut peoples jobs."

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